Thursday, September 4, 2008

The Atheist 'bible' (at last!)

I found this post on Ray Comfort's blog. In it, he states that he is writing a new book, and there will be a chapter on atheism. He wants to know what atheists officially believe about God, the Bible, heaven, hell, sin, salvation and Jesus.

I honestly don't know what's wrong with this guy, but I have my suspicions. See my previous post here about how people who don't understand things often try to extrapolate from things that they do know. Ray Comfort still does not understand what atheism is, which is why he can't competently fight it. He thinks we have 'official' stances on things. In all of his debating atheists, he has failed to learn that we don't have official stances, because we don't have an official book, nor an official organising body. The only thing that unites us is our lack of belief in the gods that they believe in. When Ray will actually figure this out is anybody's guess. As for now, he is embarrassing himself.

In order to save Ray from future embarrassment, I figured it was about time that atheists get their own authoritative book of beliefs and rules. So, I'm going to write the Authoritative Book of Atheism and post it here for all to distribute, free of charge. Here it is:

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Authoritative Book of Atheism
1st Edition, September 2008
Published by Atheist Propaganda


Dedication

This book is dedicated to the human intellect. May it always prevail.


Chapter 1

There are no gods.


References

None cited.

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Thanks you all for reading! It was my first book, so I hope you liked it. You may copy, link to, or distribute it free of charge. I seek no personal profit from it. It's my service to humanity.

9 comments:

Steven Bently said...

Hi, I finally just got done reading through your entire book called (Authoritative Book of Atheism 1st Edition) and I must express what a difference it has made upon my life, I no longer have to believe that there exist a god who lives in the clouds above and sent his only (begoten son)who came to earth through a virgin girl to save the world from their sins.

How anyone could believe in such foolish nonsense is way beyond me.

By reading your entire book, it plainly expresses that there is no need to believe in holy spirits, witches, ghosts, miracles, blessings, prayer, angels, invisible beings that no one has ever seen. In fact, I would suggest everyone to read your book and become a well informed individual instead of a totally mis-informed individual.

Although I realize that millions of people are afraid to read a book such as yours because it goes against what mommy and daddy have told their children that the Bible is absolutely the only truth there is.

I would also like to write a book similar to yours but, I know if I include examples of the lies and foolishness of the Bible, Christians will rebel against it and say it was written by the hand of Satan. So it's hard to explain to people whom would prefer to believe in invisible beings that none exist. Now why would that be? Why would people prefer to believe in invisible beings that the very book that claims they exist also claims that no invisible beings have ever been seen by anyone living.

How can a book stake a claim that invisible beings exist and also claim that no invisible beings have ever been seen by living human beings?

Maybe I just do not have enough faith...yeah, that's it...lol

Nice going BTW, keep it up.

Admin said...

Thanks for the compliment, Steven. Your comment is probably my favourite that I've received on this site so far.

But I think you misunderstand the purpose of my book. It is not to convert the theists, although that would be a big plus. It is not even solely to school Ray Comfort on what makes an atheist an atheist. The purpose is actually to bring all of us together under a common umbrella of dogma, and by doing so, to establish myself as the worldwide leader of the atheist movement, which in turn will result in much money flowing in my direction, which I can then spend on orgies of atheist delights.

millinniummany3k said...

Perhaps the real foolish nonsense is in trying to take away people's right to religion, because that book's pretty damned accurate.

Alex said...

Wow, where do the witches and stuff come from? Christians don't have any stock in that? Would it surprise you to know that the word WITCH means "The wives of the WATCHERS who practiced their craft?" uhh WITCHCRAFT? HAHAHA! I tickle myself. It's funny how ATHEISTS go on a wing and a prayer--so to speak...I'm not here to convince you. I think there is more to this than you think tho. You can believe in science all you want to--but when you look in that microscope and discover that bacteria an viruses cause sickness--you still can't explain how--or why--or where it comes from--you never will. I'm sorry that the rules are too much for you. That it's ok to do what you want--that you ask, "Then why does GOD let people die, or get killed?" and if it's someone YOU love that gets a hatchet buried in their head, HEYYYY it's ok, we can do what we want right? NO RULLLES?! OHHHH but it's not right is it? So you pick and choose what's OK right? Why has GOD not let us feel the WRATH OF SIN? That's what I wonder. I love everybody. But most of all, I LOVE MY CREATOR.

Admin said...

"You can believe in science all you want to--but when you look in that microscope and discover that bacteria an viruses cause sickness--you still can't explain how--or why--or where it comes from--you never will."

Are you serious? Science doesn't know HOW bacteria and viruses cause illness? For some, not yet. For many others, they sure do! Read a book, dude.

"I'm sorry that the rules are too much for you. That it's ok to do what you want--that you ask, "Then why does GOD let people die, or get killed?" and if it's someone YOU love that gets a hatchet buried in their head, HEYYYY it's ok, we can do what we want right? NO RULLLES?! OHHHH but it's not right is it? So you pick and choose what's OK right"

Your comment is largely gibberish, but you're right. In fact, if there's one thing us atheists hate more than gods, it's laws! We despise all laws (rules) and wish they were abolished! That's why super-atheist Japan has no laws at all. It's only because it has no laws at all that the crime rate is recorded as being so much lower than any country heavily populated with Christians. You can't commit crimes if there are no laws on the books.

Fuck Alex, you're hilarious.

Admin said...

"But most of all, I LOVE MY CREATOR."

Good to know that you love your parents. If you meant anything else by that, you're a fool with an imaginary friend.

Anonymous said...

ummm admin, im not sure if you're being sarcastic or are actually serious... but just to clarify... you do know that japan isn't atheist, right? they have like a bajillion gods. they have gods for so many things. and damn does japan have a fuck lot of rules. their social rules alone can make an outsider's mind swim.

Admin said...

No, I'm not joking and I'm sticking with my answer. I have a lot of experience with Japan, and those people are damn-near all atheists. They follow the cultural traditions of the old religions, such as the January 1st visit to the temple/shrine, but that's about it. Closest thing they have besides that seems to be a form of ancestor worship.

Do you know any differently?

David said...

Oh, silly Admin, we can see right through this. I know that you wrote this, and you can't possibly know for a fact that there are no gods, because the Bible says that there is a GOD, and we know that the Bible is true because it was written by GOD!

Or something. I still haven't got this whole fundamentalist thing figured out.